Thank You

It was so nice to be with so many friends and family members this past week. We keep finding ourselves saying "thank you" in situations where we can't possibly repay the sentiments and gifts given. The love and generosity of everyone in our lives has been humbling and inspiring. Matt and I have leaned especially hard on our relatives - who have waited on us hand and foot for the last two weeks. So even though these words will never be enough...THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts. We love you!

Merry Christmas/Happy Hanukkah!

We were lucky enough this year to spend so much of the "holiday season" with our families.  Parker met grandparents, great-grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, and friends that might as well be family!  Picture slideshows to come!

Christmas Wish

A few weeks before I had Parker, I saw a group of adults with special needs visiting the grocery store I was in.  A woman, probably in her fifties, was thrilled to be there and obviously had Down Syndrome.  I smiled at her and said hello, and she was very intrigued by me because I was pregnant.  She followed me through the fruit and veggy isles for a few minutes.  I saw her again in another aisle and she stopped again and stared at me with her 10000 watt smile.  I remember thinking how sweet she was, but....and the "but..." is what I can't get out of my head.  But....what kind of life does she live if visits to the grocery store make her day? But....my baby won't have that problem.  But....who takes care of her?  Do they love her? Are they nice to her?

Tonight was my first night in a grocery store since having Parker...and I couldn't help but think back to this experience, since it is now our reality.  I know Parker's childhood will be wonderful.  He is a cute baby, and will turn into a cute toddler.  Everyone loves cute little ones.  

My biggest hope this Christmas is that I can find peace without so much worry, and hold close the fact that the people in his life that love him will always be carried in his heart.....even if the grocery store is the most exciting part of his day. 

Meeting Grandpa

Parker finally got to meet his Grandpa today! Both of them loved it. Grandpa is super awesome at feeding him and calming him...which is not an easy task with Parker's tummy trouble. We are so excited to spend the next week with so many people we love!

Pondering the Night Away

Tonight was a hard night for some reason. We have so many great things going on in the next week that we are so excited about... But there is something about a long car ride that encourages (forces) deep thought.

I started thinking about how Parker is almost 4 weeks old already. He had made such strides! I have to admit, though, that part of me mourns the passed time because it goes by so fast and I can't get it back. Of course, I am also trying to slow down time because I know that once I go back to work, I will only get about 3-5 hours a day with him.

I also started thinking back over the past few weeks. Part of me actually misses being pregnant--and that shocks me because I remember hearing women say that when I was about 38 weeks and thinking they had to be nuts...but I do miss it. I miss having things be simple...I miss not knowing his diagnosis, and I miss being able to keep him healthy and safe so easily. I hate even thinking any of those things.

I keep going back and forth between blocking out the emotional pain of the week of his birth versus the joy of bringing him into the world as ours. Right now, the experience is still mostly clouded by pain and grief, but I hope that one day I will look at it with only peace and thankfulness.

For now, I am so in love with this little boy and our little family. I am so excited for everyone to meet him and to bring in a new year with him in my life.

Emily Dickinson

Hope

 

 

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

Holland

From Jordan...we love this...

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

by
Emily Perl Kingsley.

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." 

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

L B S

Parker is finally over his birth weight!  It has been quite a struggle with each feeding taking over an hour (and then there is pumping time!), but it is worth it!  Little man doesn't have to go back to the pediatrician until January -woohoo!  We are also free and clear to travel to Springboro for Christmas.  So Thankful.  I can't wait for him to meet everyone!

Appointments...

The reality of having a child with special needs is attending so many appointments.  I am so grateful for all of the early intervention possibilities available for Parker, but so very overwhelmed by their demands and choices.  Upon diagnosis, the hospital enrolled us in the state's version of early intervention, as well as the private, hospital version.  Both will evaluate him, and then it is basically up to us which avenue to go with.  This includes physical, occupational, and speech therapy...which really start to become important for him around 3 months of age.  

In addition, Parker failed part of his hearing test, and needs to be seen by a cardiologist for his heart.  And until his weight is consistent and stable over time, we will have frequent pediatrician visits.  Needless to say, we will be getting to know doctor's offices and our insurance plans very well...a prospect that brings me a lot of anxiety as a non-detail oriented person.  

Today's pediatrician appointment was so-so--- Parker is still having trouble gaining weight.  Let's hope the next several days get better, and we can get him back to his birth weight!

Tummy Time!

Right now, there are only two things we have been told we can do to help Parker develop and progress.  First breastfeeding, which is becoming the bane of my existence.  Because of his mouth control, it is hard for him to breastfeed, causing him to basically tire out after about 5-7 minutes.

Second is tummy time!  Fifty percent of his awake time is supposed to be spent on his tummy to help strengthen core muscles and head control.  From the first time we tried it, Parker has been able to push himself over onto his back--we finally captured it!  Like all crazy parents, we have been proud of this...even if he sometimes arches his back instead of pushing himself over!  I hate hearing him get frustrated, but know how important it is for him to practice.  The definitions of excitement and a "good time" are much different for us now...and I wouldn't change it for anything.

"Show Me"

Our first pediatrician appointment on Monday went great!  Parker gained 3 ounces, his color was looking better, and of course, he peed all over the nurse and scale!  We were so excited to FINALLY get a good report from a doctor, as up until this point, it seemed like doctors were only around to tell us bad news.

Obviously, with Parker's multiple diagnosis, we have a lot of questions that no one can really answer for us...but we ask anyway.  It seems that there is no real information about children who have both Down Syndrome and Klinefelter's Syndrome.  The two tend to have some similar traits and some opposite traits, even though Klinefelter's can be something that men live with all of their lives and don't know about.  For example, typically with DS, children have shorter limbs, whereas with KS, children are taller and lanky.  We think this is why during ultrasounds, Parker's measurements all turned up normal instead of accurately indicating DS.

None of this stops us from foolishly trying to predict what Parker's capabilities will be...which I am sure every parent wonders.  

Dr. Peters, one of our pediatricians, had an amazing term for this...he said Parker will be a "Show Me" baby.  He will show us all of the amazing things he is capable of in his own time, in his own way.  He will do great things, even if they may be a little different than what other kids can do.

This really resonated with us...that we have to blindly accept Parker's challenges, and just do everything we can to help him grow and be pushed to his fullest extent. 

Homecoming Day

The car ride home from the hospital is one of our favorite memories...one that we will hold closely.  It marked so many things for us...health, independence, family, thankfulness...and so much more.  Parker was not a huge fan of the car seat, but passed out pretty quickly.  So much love for this new life!

NICU Experience

The Tuesday night after Parker was born, he stayed in the nursery for monitoring while we went home...a pain I will never forget.  The next day, our neonatologist (Dr. Fisher) told us that he would need to spend a few days in the NICU, again not allowed to come home with us.  His sodium and potassium levels were too high, showing that he was dehydrated.  Closely matched with the pain of not taking him home is the pain of seeing an IV in your newborn's head.  

Though his time in the NICU was extremely difficult for us, I can't speak highly enough of the staff and facility at Northwest.  They allowed us to call in 24 hours a day to check on Parker, feed him and snuggle him (as much as you can snuggle with a baby hooked up to so many machines), and taught us tricks to help us better care for him.  

Dr. Fisher was a godsend...some may feel that he does not have much of a bedside manner, but all we needed at the time was someone to just be blunt and honest with us.  We knew that under his care, Parker would get what he needed to be healthy enough to take home.  His expertise and attention to detail helped Parker get better.

Even though we were devastated by his admittance to the NICU, it was really a blessing, because we got to take Parker home confidently, knowing he was truly well enough to be with us.
 

Roller-coaster Week

The past week has been quite a roller-coaster ride for the Preis family.  It has by far been the most joyous and the most painful week of our lives.  The morning after he was born, we were told that Parker has Down Syndrome, and a few days later, were told that he also has Klinefelter's Syndrome.  In addition, he has potential cardiac and hearing issues that we hope with all of our hearts are just temporary.  

During this week, Matt and I have really had to dig deep within ourselves and within our marriage to cope with the different things we found out.  On some days, we had great successes, like getting Parker to eat, my milk coming in strong, and getting to snuggle with him.  Other days were straight from hell, where every time a doctor spoke to us, it was to tell us another problem that we had to face with this new little baby that we already love so much. 

We have been blessed to have the most amazing family and friends to look after us, pray for us, and help us.  They have been by our side every moment, and for that we are forever grateful.  

Even though Parker's life isn't going to be what we originally invisioned, and there will be moments through out the next days, weeks, months, and years where we break down and struggle, our little boy is perfect to us and for us.  We couldn't ask for a more special gift, and are thankful for him every moment of every day.  

Parker's Birth Day!

After having severe back pain all of Thanksgiving (Matt's birthday!), I decided to call the doctor Friday morning, the 23rd.  I wasn't really having stereotypical measurable contractions, but still quite a bit of pain that kept me up at night.  They told me to just come in and get checked to see if anything was going on.  Little did I know that I was already 6 cm dilated!  The doctor was stunned, and was announcing it to everyone in the office that "this patient just walked in here smiling and is 6 cm dilated!) We didn't even get to go home to get our bags-  I was wheeled straight to the labor and delivery hall. 

Within 2-3 hours, I moved to 8 cm, and the nurses started setting up the room for delivery.  We were told that things would move very quickly based on what they had seen so far....boy were they wrong.  My contractions were not measurable on the monitors because they were basically constant, and in my back.  I ended up stalling at 8 cm.  Epidural? Yes please! 

After moving so fast, it took me about 8 hours and a LOT of Pitocin to move from 8 cm to 10 cm: pushing time.  Because my contractions were not measurable, pushing was difficult.  After 45 minutes or so of pushing, the nurse decided to put a scalp monitor on Parker's head to better see his heart beat, as it seemed to drop during each pushing session--which was scary for us, as no one wants to hear about a monitor attached with a hook to their baby's scalp.  The nurse inferred that the cord must have been wrapped around him somewhere.

After an hour and a half of pushing, baby Parker's heart rate dropped well into the danger zone.  It appeared to the nurses that he was in the "sunny side up" position, and struggling to get past my pubic bone.  They stopped me from pushing, and called Dr. McCool back in.  At one point, Matt saw baby's heart beat hit 0, and the decision to rush a c-section was made.  I was wheeled into the OR, and surgery started very quickly.

Parker Jonathan Preis was born via C-section at 10:02pm on November 23, 2012!  Hearing his first cry was the most incredible experience that I will never forget.  He weighed 7 pounds and 1 ounce, and was 20 inches long.  

Though the c-section was difficult and recovery is a tough,  we are blessed with this sweet baby boy that I get to spend the next 8 weeks with.

Welcome, sweet baby, we love you with all of our hearts!

Any Day Now!

The Doc says baby could come any day now!  I am 90% effaced and 1 cm dilated! Woohoo for progress!  I am trying to hard to be patient--- but it is tough when I have this short window of opportunity to get more time off with him! If he is born this week, I will get extra days off with Winter Break, otherwise it is just the standard six weeks.  Come on baby boy!  

Sadly, these are Chase's last days as "the baby" of the family, though we will love him just as much no matter what.  This has been and will continue to be a life-changing year for him--and us!  Graduating, two new jobs, long distance, moving, pregnancy, and all that goes with those things! 

Tick Tock!

Playing the waiting game now....and not very good at it!  We had a false alarm Thursday...I have to admit, walking yourself out of the labor & delivery unit is a little embarrassing.  Luckily, the doctors and nurses are all very kind and supportive!

We are also counting down until my dad is feeling better.  His surgery was also Thursday, making for a pretty stressful day.  We are so looking forward to Christmas, when my parents will be able to meet Parker, and everyone will be feeling 100%.  

Nursery is READY!

FINALLY we have just about everything in the apartment and getting organized for baby's arrival.  It has been a challenge to get everything jig-sawed into place in our small apartment, but it is worth it!  We are about 3.5 weeks away (or less) from meeting our little boy...and getting so impatient! 

Next up...packing our hospital bags and installing the car seat!  Oh how the things that excite you change over the years....

Sandy

Hurricane Sandy hit last week....and destroyed much of my most favorite place in the world...Long Beach Island, and damaged much of New Jersey and New York.  We are thinking of everyone there...and wish we could help more.  We plan on taking baby Parker there the first chance we get!

Celebrations X2

We have been so luck to have two beautiful showers thrown by both of our moms.  Parker is going to be the best dressed little boy around!  It was so great to spend time with family and friends and celebrate this little life that will be the biggest thing to happen to us!  

THANK YOU to everyone....we can't show our appreciation for your generosity enough.  

Friends

We celebrated Joey and Rachel's wedding this weekend, and loved spending time with friends, as always.  I love being pregnant and baby Parker is so worth it, but I do miss celebrating with friends!  I can't wait to introduce Parker to everyone over the holidays this year.  You can't beat this group of people....

Nursery time!

We are desperately trying to jigsaw all of our baby items into our apartment :) it is a work in progress but here are the first pictures of baby Parker's crib!!!

Health & Family

Thinking of my dad this weekend...who has been spending some time in the hospital to figure out an intestinal abscess.  Whenever health problems arise - big or small, I become pretty reflective on how fortunate I have been with my family members, and how desperately I want Parker to be just as fortunate.  

I am 26 and still have three of my four grandparents with me...and many lessons I was old enough to learn from all four of them.  Making them great-grandparents is something I have been looking forward to for years!  

My own parents and Matt's parents are so special to me as well...I can't wait to see the lessons and love they pass on to Parker. 

For now, we are just praying for everyone to be healthy. 

Baby Laundry...

Here's to the first round of baby laundry...many more years and loads to come :) good thing it is all so cute...it makes laundry so much better!

Movies!

We went and saw "Looper" tonight at the **amazing** iPic theater...recliners, pillows, blankets, free popcorn...ahhh--a pregnant girl's dream place!  Matt and I were talking in the car about how this may have been the last trip to the movies for a while -which made us a little sad.  We are SO excited to meet our son and to experience all of the amazing things that come with parenthood, but are a little anxious about the change in freedom -at least for the foreseeable future :)  We will be lucky to have trusted babysitters (aunties and friends close by!), but we are saying "see ya" to going out or traveling without the extra planning!  

So for now, we will take our last several weeks before becoming "mommy and daddy" as a chance to do lots of date nights and things that we might not get to do again for a few months/years! That being said, I know Parker will end up loving movies, family nights out, and traveling to see loved ones as much as we do!

Chase!

I have to admit, I am a little bit nervous about how Chase Puppy will react to the baby coming.  We have a little less than 8 weeks to go (max!), and he is starting to sense that things are changing! He has become extra clingy and needy...and really doesn't like to have us out of site.  

Scooter couldn't care less...she is just happy for all of the boxes and bags that are all around for her to play in.  

We know they will be loyal to Parker just like they are to us in time, but hope that the process isn't too painful!

How the family celebrates...

Only in the Manoni home do people celebrate a baby by starting off with tequila shots....good thing baby Parker is my excuse to opt out :)  

We had such great goodies and crafts from Nona and Aunt Renee --diaper cake! and Grandma Preis --no one beats her cookies!  

Shower Time!

It was SO amazing to go home and see everyone this past weekend.  We are so thankful for all of the amazing friends and family that came to celebrate with us, and for the generous gifts we received from them.  Parker will be a well-dressed, much loved little boy.  Our only complaint is that the hours seem to go by so quickly when surrounded by so many people we care about.  THANK YOU to everyone-- we would be lost without you all.  More details to come...

Maternity Leave Anxiety

Today was definitely one of those "everything sucks" days. 

 I found out my maternity leave is 6 "calendar weeks" off, not 6 "work weeks" --therefore, unless little man is born 2 weeks early, my district's winter break is part of the 6 weeks instead of being additional time off. I don't qualify for any of the FMLA law or district benefits as a new employee. I'm not sure why FMLA and district policy think that just because you are new in a workplace that you don't need to be home with your newborn.  

This just kind of set the mood for the whole day...the hormones flowed and continue to flow freely. 

For right now, I think it is time for me to write my "I am thankful" list again, two months before Thanksgiving, to remind myself of how fortunate I am, instead of focusing on all of the things I wish could happen (like maybe having a winning lottery ticket!?). 

Let's hope Parker comes (safely) a few weeks early so I can soak up more time with him over the holidays!

My Little Acrobat

This is one active little boy...he has been really trying out the Karate moves lately :)  

Sleep...or Not!

It is 4:28 am....on a "school night" and sleep totally evades me.  I can't decide if it is physical symptoms keeping me awake, or mental ones....probably a combination of both.  If it isn't the acid reflux, shortness of breath, my bladder, or sciatic pain that is keeping me awake, then it is surely the anxiety...new job, impending childbirth and new baby, etc.  The most ironic part is that whenever I do fall asleep, by the time my alarm goes off, I will be cursing it --ready to be sleeping peacefully instead of getting up for work.  

This is definitely good preparation for newborn care :)  With a little less than 10 weeks to go, every spare hour will be used to prepare for this little guy that will depend on us so much!  As for this weekend....project nursery!  Goodnight...zzz.

Milestone

29.5 weeks down....10.5 to go.  I have held this week in my head as a major milestone...as it was how far along Nona was when she had me.  I guess I have felt that if 26 years ago a baby could be be born and survive at 29 weeks, then surely mine would now.  

My mom is one of the bravest people I know...and she had so many hard decisions to make at that time.  I can't imagine how hard it was for her and my dad to go through!  She has taught me to always be prepared...and to pay the extra $$ or do the extra research to make sure insurance, technology and facilities that are the best are within reach.  I am so thankful for that!  So as anxious as I am to meet my little man, here's to the next 10.5 weeks of growing that he has to do on the inside. 

A Taste of Miami

It is hard to truly appreciate college until you are working full time and responsible for real life...so it is safe to say that we both miss Miami desperately.  So we jumped on the chance yesterday to visit the Chicago chapter of one of our favorite Miami staples...Bagel & Deli, or in this case, Chicago Bagel Authority.  Even though it isn't quite the same...it is still nice to have a small glimpse of college days away from Oxford.  Yum!

 

The Boss!

Mama (Nona) and Aunt Renee just left after a great (short, wet, and cold) visit!  They got to go see Bruce Springsteen at Wrigley field--who played for almost 4 hours despite the rain.  Even though it was a quick, less than 24 hours visit it was still so much fun to see them!  It is hard to be so far way --and it will be harder once Parker is born, but I am thankful that it is a doable drive for weekend visits.

Welcome to the world!

We are so so so excited that our nephew is finally here!  Finnean Hunter, "Finn," was born yesterday, and he is adorable.  The happiness in the room as we all came to meet him was indescribable.  I am sure that just like his big sister, he has already captured everyone's hearts.  We can't wait until Parker is here...getting to watch them grow up together will be so much fun!

Out on the Town

The biggest difference between our time in Kentucky and our time so far in Chicago is the multitude of things to do!  Kentucky has a sense of peace and relaxation to it, but Chicago is all busy, with thousands of restaurants and activities that are changing every day.  It could be 3:00pm or 1:00am....the streets are always busy and full of people.  

Last night, we got to go out with two great friends, Joe and George, who were visiting from Cincinnati.  We ate at the Bridge House Tavern right on the river with perfect weather and great food.  As everyone always says, there is nothing like this city in the summer.

After that, we went to a pub (Goose Island to satisfy Matt's need for good beer --and who has great rootbeer floats! :) ) --which was fun, but definitely interesting.  The atmosphere of the whole block took me right back to college, which is great, but kind of awkward while pregnant.  I got the up and down look from the bartenders....the look that says "I dare you to try and order a drink" and funky looks from all of the drunk partiers for being in a bar.  Part of me wants to hold up a sign to defend myself that says "DON'T WORRY I am not drinking, I am just out with friends having fun."    

In short, life is changing.  In 3 months, my life will be completely different...more so than it already has changed by being pregnant, moving, and changing jobs.  I so look forward to it, and look back fondly at my college days. 

Stethoscope Update

I love this cheap $15 fetal stethoscope so much I had to mention it again.  

First of all, in those inevitable moments of irrational panic, it is so nice to hear baby's heartbeat and feel instantly comforted. 

Secondly, I am in love with exploring with the stethoscope.  Today, Parker was in a position where I could instantly and loudly hear his heart beating.  I could also hear him rolling and thumping around.  I was fascinated with how the volume of his heartbeat changed whenever he woulda move.

I know it is so corny and nerdy, but it is such a nice way to brighten up a rainy afternoon.  

I can't wait until Nona and Grandma Preis come so they can hear it too.   

Amazon $15 fetal Stethoscope

27.5 weeks

As the 3rd trimester approaches (or begins, depending on who you ask), our excitement continues to multiply.  I can't wait to meet and see our little one...to the point where I want to go buy an ultrasound package to see his face in 3-D and know he is growing and okay.  Part of me can't believe we are already this far along, and then another part of me feels like time is dragging!  

For now, we are debating on who we trust the most to take care of Parker while we are at work, and where to put all of our extra "stuff" to make way for his nursery.  I am trying so hard to not buy all of the cute little boy things out there that I see, and learn all of the ins and outs of childbirth and bringing a newborn home.  And for now...feeling him kick and roll around and listening to his heartbeat will have to suffice until hubby and I can hold him and protect him.

3 more months to go!

Bath Time Blues...

Hopefully our son doesn't take lessons from Chase on taking baths.  He is just pitiful for being a tough Japanese hunting breed! Maybe it will wear him out for the day :)

Lake Geneva!

Even though it seems like wherever you live, it is never close enough to the people you love, we are fortunate enough to be near two out of our three total siblings!  Today, we went on a quick trip to Lake Geneva in Wisconsin with Michelle, Sean, and Michaela --probably their last little trip as a family of three.  It was super hot out, but we got to enjoy cute shops, great food, and the beautiful lake together.  It will definitely be a place we go again soon, while the weather is still nice!  I can't wait to take our little guy there next summer to sit in the shade lakeside, or maybe even do a little swimming.  

Dreamin'!

One of the symptoms that comes with pregnancy that has fascinated me is the vivid, crazy dreaming.  I think everyone's dreams are a little strange, but the clarity and "realness" of dreams during pregnancy is unbelievable.  I wake up disoriented and sometimes emotional, feeling like my dream actually happened.  

Some dreams are intimidating, like tornadoes and tidal waves are coming, where I am an eyewitness to their power, but are not quite nightmares.  Others are baby-related, and oftentimes somewhat disturbing.  One in particular that I have had twice is that I am at a house, and have forgotten that my baby is upstairs and that I haven't fed him in over a day even though he never cries.  Some of those dreams are a little frightening, but I am so intrigued by them!

One dream in particular has me smiling every time I think about it...I even woke up from it smiling.  In the dream, I was sitting at a table with my Grandmom, who passed away in 2008.  I can't remember what we talked about now, probably the baby, but regardless, I woke up feeling like I really got to see her.  I could see her face and hear her voice as if we were really together--and I hold it close like is a memory instead of a dream.  I remind myself of it each day, so that I don't forget it! Who knows, maybe I will have a repeat dream and get to see her again :)

Family Visits

After an awesome 5 days or so with all of our parents in town, Matt and I were bummed towards the end of the week to see them go.  Back to reality- no more visitors, and lots of work days ahead.  We had so much fun eating meals with our parents, catching up, enjoying one another, and even having a meal where both sides got together.  Baby Parker made out like a bandit with both his Grandma Preis and Nona in town --he will be one well-dressed and loved little boy with so many special people in his life.  It takes a lot to cheer me up when my mama leaves, though!

One of the curses of pregnancy is forgetfulness...which when added to my absent-mindedness, can be pretty inconvenient.  In the case of online shopping, however, it can be beautiful...like getting a present in the mail you didn't know was coming!  Today, my cheapo $15 fetal stethoscope came...I felt like it was a gift, even though I only ordered it last weekend!  

After about 10 minutes of not being able to even find my own heart beat with it, I was close to giving up.  Maybe it was too early, I wasn't using it correctly, or it was just too cheap to ever work.  Just as I was putting it back into the box, Matt started playing with it...first on himself, then on the dog (crazy fast heart beat and weird tongue licks), then on the cat (purrr).  We both started to get used to how it worked.  I finally found my own heart beat, and what that sounded like muffled in my stomach.  I decided to try on my belly one more time....and was shocked to find Baby Boy's heart beat!  Ahh!

Matt and I both got to hear our little guy's heart beating strong, and even though we will hear it tomorrow at my OB appointment, nothing can take away how special it is to know a little person is there!  It also helps to know that I can hear him whenever I want, instead of once a month!  

I still miss my family, but at least I can have my little boy close by safe and sound. 

Pregnancy is SCARY!

I guess I am not one of those people, at least with my first pregnancy, that can sit around and relax through it all.  I am constantly counting days by, worrying about each cramp and strain, hoping I am doing things right!  I can't decide if the internet is helpful, or anxiety-inducing.  With every individual pregnancy being different, no one ever has the same symptoms, and symptoms can have multiple meanings.  For now, my goal is to try the best I can to relax...which will hopefully be easier once I reach that time in my head when our baby boy could be born and be healthy-- 28 weeks? 37 weeks? Due date?  In reality, I suspect that worrying is just a constant part of parenthood! 

Aunties

From Auntie Mallory

From Auntie Morgan

24 weeks down, 16 to go!  Baby Parker will have the best Aunties ever (and not just because they get him cute clothes)!!!! He will love visiting Morgan, Mallory, and Michelle --and will love his cousins too.   In four months, he will be spending the holidays with all of these people that already love him so much.  

For now, his kicks are getting stronger, and he has had a major growth spurt...as proven by my stretched skin and heavy belly.....no one said pregnancy was pretty!  We love every new milestone we reach!

The Good and Bad

The old saying goes that you can't appreciate the good without the bad...a saying that a pregnant woman must have come up with :)  In this case, week 23 of our journey has been one with a lot of bumps in the road....and for the record, pregnancy hormones don't fight fair.  


As a kid, I used to be fascinated with pregnant women, and babies, but also a little intimidated.  I noticed (in my little girl mind) after having neighbors, teachers, and family go through pregnancy, that these people were a little meaner during and after pregnancy for a while.  I TOTALLY understand that now!  These hormones take all rational thought out of the picture, and fire random, intense emotions all over the place!  

My admitted meltdown this week was really the least of our issues, though.  With a washer and dryer that have been fighting our apartment for months, and an Ikea wardrobe that just spontaneously fell apart and broke, and guests coming this weekend to a disheveled apartment, our nerves are frayed, burned, bruised, and exhausted.

I woke up this morning quite ashamed, though.  We have so many things to be thankful for!  We have a amazing friends and family that love us, a home with nice things, two fulfilling jobs,  and best of all, a beautiful little boy that will be here in a few short months...and I have a husband who loves me despite my raging hormones.  So for now, we are going to focus on the things that we have to look forward to...which are so abundant and exciting! 

Morgan's Birthday

Yesterday we went downtown to celebrate Morgan's birthday...soon to be Aunt Morgan!  We went to an awesome tapas restaurant called Ba Ba Reeba, and then got to check out her new apartment.  The view from her deck is amazing!  We had a great time, and are glad to be so close to her now!

Trip to Ohio

I love seeing good friends!  Matt and I got in a quick trip to Ohio for our friends' wedding.  We were sad to leave early because of a training I had to be at the next day, but loved being with everyone all the same!  

We are so looking forward to the rest of the weddings we will be attending this year...and hope that baby Parker lets us get to them all safely and comfortably (HA!).  
We loved getting to talk about him, and catch up with so many amazing people!

Registry Woes

I have a definite love-hate relationship with registries.  I love that they ensure that you are receiving gifts that you really need/want, but hate that they have a certain greed to them. I don't really enjoy asking others to buy me things! Aside from that, though, they are just plain hard to create!  Things for wedding registries are easy...you go to a store and pick out things that you like and want for your home.  Baby registries are a whole different ball game!  You have to focus on safety ratings, comfort, necessities, all while hoping you can find something that isn't hideous.  

After asking around, my brother-in-law recommended we look at "Baby Bargains" by Denise & Alan Fields.  They are a couple that take no bribes from companies, and give ratings based on recalls, reviews from parents, and personal experience.  This book was a serious God send.  They present "good, better, best" recommendations on products depending on your budget.  I highly recommend trying this book- at least if you are like me, who had no clue where to even start.

We also decided to go mainly with Amazon.com --we found that prices were so much cheaper than stores for people, and you don't pay sales tax!  For those of our relatives that don't shop online, we tried to put a few things on a Babies R' Us registry, but to be honest, that was hard to do, because an item that would be $35 on Amazon was $50 at BRU.  

Babies sure need a lot of "stuff!"

Week 19 Specialist Visit

July 6, 2012-- Our specialist appointment arrived--and I am so thankful Matt could be there with me.  It was obvious that everyone in that office was worrying about something similar-- it was quite a nerve-wracking environment.  After almost an hour of waiting, the ultrasound technician took us back and began.  We got to see our little guy playing with his umbilical cord, and sucking his thumb--images I will always cherish.  She measured him again, body part by body part, specifically looking for anything that could represent an anomaly or marker for DS.  She said he looked perfectly healthy and she saw no issues.  Woohoo!! Now, for the doctor's turn!  She came in, and re-measured him, and assured us that she did not see anything that looked problematic.  She said that his chances of DS were still higher than an average baby ( 1 in 400 instead of 1 in 800), but that she has never seen a baby with perfect measurements (and the bright spot as the only marker) be born with it.

We were so relieved!  But regardless of all the details, we will love our little boy no matter what.

Baby Preis is a....

June 23, 2012-- Gender/Anatomy Ultrasound Day!  This was Matt's first time getting to "see" baby!  We got to watch the technician (who was much nicer and more social than our tech from Ohio) measure baby, who just could not stop moving around.  She told us that he is, without a doubt, a little BOY!  I was teary-eyed and happy just to know, and Matt was so so so excited that we would have a little guy to carry on the family name.  We loved every second of getting to see him!

When we met with the OB, though, the ultrasound showed a bright spot on baby boy's heart and they had poor visibility of his heart vessels --presumably due to him moving all around.  It felt like we couldn't have an appointment without some new worry.  The doctor told us that 99% of the time, if the spot is by itself, then everything would be perfectly normal.  However, if paired with other issues, it could be a marker for Down Syndrome.  After being so excited minutes before, this was a huge blow.  Again, we would have to wait 2 weeks to let Baby Boy grow before we could see a fetal/maternal specialist to do a more in depth ultrasound.