Back to School!

It is back-to-school for Mama, officially, at least!  Even though I worked almost all of June and a good part of August, it is still hard to officially say goodbye to summer!  I am happy to return to our routine, excited to delve into my new school, but sad to leave the day to day experience with my little man.  

I learned a lot this summer, not the least of which is that, while I would love to stay at home with Parker so that I wouldn't miss so much of his day, I'm not sure I am cut out for the stay-at-home mom/wife role.  Sitting through hours and hours of therapy was so fascinating to me, but when we work on the same thing every week to help with mastery (ie: walking laps around the house, climbing the stairs, etc.), it got a bit tedious.  Constantly having to choose between playing with Parker or taking him somewhere, and the 10 million other things that need to get done was a long extension of the mental battle and guilt that comes along with some of those decisions as a working mom.

That being said, I relished in the ability to truly take my time with using signs between each bite, to see each minute progression with my own eyes, and to be "in the present" with Parker, his goals, and his personality.  I loved being able to see his smile when he woke up from his nap, hear his giggle when Chase licked his face, and his first steps.  SO much better than reading a daily report.

I wish I could give him the best of both worlds.  I think there are so many benefits to sending him to "school" --especially the one he is at right now.  The social awareness, language immersion, high expectations, and strong modeling that happens when surrounded by other people are things I cannot replicate at home.  However, that one-on-one attention, TIME, and perseverance are things I wish he could have.  Parker's sign language skills benefited so much from a lengthy, hour-long breakfast where we signed "More" over and over and over.  

I'm hoping that once Parker enters the public school system next year, that we will be able to push more for that attention that he needs (and deserves).  

For now, let the working mom guilt prevail, and the uncontrollable urge for snuggles and chubby cheek kisses continue.