Childcare

This is a long rant...be warned!

Ridiculously enough, childcare is still a crazy battle for us.  As Parker's behavior gets more and more challenging, our childcare options for him dwindle before our eyes.  Today's meeting was one that left us feeling defeated, defensive, and highly emotional.  We were essentially given an ultimatum...provide a full time aide for Parker in his next room, or leave the school.  Since there is no funding support for children with special needs under the age of three, no guaranteed one-on-one support once they turn three, AND the daycare is unwilling to take on even part of those costs, the path is pretty clear for us.

My immediate concern is finding him childcare in the fall.  We have a visit set up with at least one other child care center, and beyond that, will be seeking in-home daycare or a nanny.  I recognize that as the student to teacher ratio gets higher over time, presenting significant challenges for a typical classroom.  That being said, I believe that being in an environment with his age-group peers is the best option for him.  I also believe that a daycare setting has the resources and structure in place to provide more purposeful learning opportunities for him.  Ultimately, though, daycares are not set up nor are they willing to be set up to accommodate Parker's needs.

We were told today that there are other kids with Down Syndrome that have made it through the daycare program at our school but that Parker has more needs than they can handle.  We were told today that the teacher in his room spends hours a day just with him and that she feels so bad that the other kids aren't getting the attention they deserve.  Ouch.

I love my son, and I fully recognize that my love for him blinds me in some situations.  This is not one of them.  This is a situation where people are making a conscious choice not to take the extra step (or even a part of a step) to help him.  It might be wrapped up in a nice, pretty, educational package, but the reality is that it comes down to $$$$.  I don't even know that this issue is specific to Parker's school.  Other schools get around this kind of an ultimatum by holding kids back a room, or letting things slip within the room.  I do give this school a sliver of credit for sticking to what they believe is the most educationally beneficial, despite the fact that the educational benefit and monetary benefit happen to swing towards the school and not Parker.

My long term concern is and apparently will always be.....When is it Parker's turn?  Educational institutions are charged with the task of progressing EVERY child/ALL children.  I understand that this translates to....schools will spend their money on the things that impact the most children at one time.  They can't or won't afford to dedicate a disproportionate amount of resources to one child or a small piece of their population.  BUT WHEN IS IT PARKER'S TURN?  When is it his turn to benefit?  When will someone other than Matt and I and our families do something that is individual to him and his needs?  When will it be time for people to ask what is in his best interest, and then literally do every single thing that it would take to get there?  That is my fundamental, heart-wrenching question to the world.

I know that in the grand scheme of his life, this will all work out.  I know Parker will be educated, and that people will work hard for him.  But sometimes these roadblocks just suck.  They are crushing and exhausting, and my Mama Bear comes out and is just tired.  Whew.

Let's hope and pray that we find truly the best child care setting for Parker.