Nighttime Thoughts

Tonight at one of Parker's therapy appointments, I was told again how well he is doing.  Because I am his mommy, I can take pride in that (even though it is all him!) and act like a giddy little kid who got a gold star.  We keep getting the comments like: "Oh, I would have never known he has DS" or "Wow! He doesn't look like he has DS" or "He has great mouth posture, and doesn't seem to act like a baby with DS."  

Initially, I take these comments as compliments (like people intend them to be), and say thank you.  Is that the right thing to say and do?  I'm not sure.  It gives me unjustified hope that maybe Parker's Down Syndrome is more mild, or maybe he will have a higher chance at a "normal" life --even though no research or true evidence support that thought.  To be totally truthful, though, I have to admit that there is the tiniest, smallest shred of me that psychotically and ridiculously and desperately hopes that some doctor will call me one day and say "Oops! We sent the blood test results to the wrong family, sorry!"  --but irrational thoughts are a whole other topic. 

When people say these things to us, I am cruelly flattered.  But I usually am plagued with a long list of questions afterwards.  How will people act if/when he looks/acts like he has DS?  Are they just saying these things to be nice?  What will I do if someone is rude to him or our family?  Will I be able to control my emotions in that situation?  

So far, we have been lucky to be around such supportive family and friends.  People who may not always say the right thing, but have good intentions.  Our friends and family aren't afraid to ask questions or be around Parker......I will always be thankful for that.

Ultimately, this whole situation proves that there is such a need for the GiGi's Playhouse campaign of changing how people view Down Syndrome...including me.  I don't know that I will ever be thankful that Parker came into our lives with Down Syndrome...but I can't go one minute without thinking of him or thanking God for him.  Everyone that meets him adores him.  I know he his here for a purpose...and I guess that is all that really matters in the end.