ENT/Audiology October

The reality of life is that we have good days and bad days.  The bad help us appreciate the good.  Today was a bad day.  I am emotionally spent and raw, and would like nothing more than to go home, snuggle my baby, and go to bed, honestly.  I am hoping to write this post as a way of venting so I can move on with my day!

Parker had his Audiology and ENT follow-ups this morning-- which for some reason, we appointments that I thought would be a breeze.  His last ENT visit lasted all of 5 minutes and involved a quick peek in the ears and that was it.  Today was different, and I am not a fan.

For audiology, Parker is old enough to start doing the behavioral hearing tests instead of the ABR test--which doesn't require anything of him.  We sit in a small sound room with speakers and screens on either side of us, and hope that Parker responds physically to the sounds he hears.  If he turns to look towards the sound, a screen flashes colorful lights to praise him.  Out of about 5 attempts, Parker turned to look twice, partially turned once, and ignored (or didn't hear) the sounds twice.  By the end of the test, which also included probing and middle ear testing, the audiologist could said with certainty that Parker doesn't have any moderate or severe hearing loss....Thank God.  However, she couldn't tell if he wouldn't respond to the test because of development or because of hearing, so she couldn't rule out mild hearing loss.

SO, we are going to try this test again in January to give Parker some time to grow and develop.  If he still doesn't respond well, then we will have to put him under general anesthesia and do the ABR.

THEN, we went to the ENT appointment.  This started with the doctor letting us know that almost all children with Down Syndrome have to get tubes because of their ear canals. Because of Parker's shaky history with hearing exams, he thinks it is best for us to move forward with tubes soon--potentially sometime after the next visit.  Since we were expecting tubes at some point, this wasn't a huge shock, but did happen sooner that expected.  This is considered a surgical procedure, though.

After talking with us, two nurses and I had to hold Parker down so the doctor could scrape out his ears.  I know this is by no means a life-altering procedure, but Parker was screaming so badly that he lost his voice. I couldn't calm or snuggle him until it was over...which was an experience that left me teary eyed, shaking, and sick to my stomach.  There is no other torture like seeing your baby hurting.

The appointment ended with the doctor telling us that the tubes procedure would be difficult and may require special tubes because Parker's ear canals are so small.  They are so tiny, in fact, that when the doctor was scraping out his ears, he pulled 1-2 hairs from inside...obviously adding to the screaming that was already happening.  While many would assume this means he is a bad doctor, I trust that he knows what he is doing....he has done procedures and exams thousands of times, and is on the board of and a professor at Northwestern.  Still...not a fun Mommy moment.

Luckily, I had some time before needing to head to my half day of work to cool off, and take some deep breaths.  Now, I am trying my best to focus on work and erase from my brain the sight of my screaming baby, though I think the effort will be fruitless.  

Hoping the next one goes better, and that November's mass appointments (RSV shots, cardiology, neurology, etc.) go a little more smoothly.